Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed
by PerpetualSnare
Summary: <html><head></head>It's Jack and Sarah's wedding night and neither of them are as innocent as the other thinks.  Not for Sarah haters...then again?</html>
1. Chapter 1

**1903**

Through his own savings and via monies from friends in high places, Jack had been able to take Sarah to the Adirondacks for their honeymoon. They had booked lodgings at the Blue Mountain Inn and as soon as they had finished rubbing elbows with their wedding guests, they were on a train to Lake George. When they arrived at the Inn, both Sarah and Jack had felt a sense of excitement at being led to the same room. Upon entering their suite, Sarah turned to look at Jack with slight apprehension in her face. He looked at Sarah with tenderness trying to hide the passion that he felt inside. Sarah thought that he had never looked more handsome, save for the hairy monstrosity upon his upper lip.

"Are you going to shave off your mustache this week?", she said in an effort to diffuse the tension between them.

About a year ago, Jack had insisted on growing a mustache, because he thought that it made him look less baby faced. She didn't mind it from a distance, but she hated kissing him with it, just the thought of the scratchy feeling against her skin made her shudder. She always thought of him clean shaven.

"Naw…It gives me character.", he said with a devilish grin while stroking it with his thumb and forefinger.

"You had enough character without it.", Sarah mused aloud and then said, "Well, I guess we should unpack."

"There will be time for that later.", Jack said brazenly, not taking his eyes off of her.

Sarah put her carpet bag on the chair next to the bed and then took note of the detailed lace work on a large doily that lay on the bedside table.

"It's lovely", she said almost to herself, "I wonder if it's handmade."

"It ain't the only thing that's lovely.", Jack said as he came up close behind her, his breath warm on her neck. Sarah's heart started to beat faster. She slowly turned around to face him. Jack pressed himself into Sarah and she could feel his breath start to quicken. He took one of his hands off of her waist and reached up to her hat pin.

"I don't think you'll be needing this.", Jack said and he deftly slid out the metal pin and reached around her to place it on top of the table behind her. Then he lifted her blue straw hat off of her head with both hands and put it next to the hat pin. He took a strand of her brown hair in his right hand and twirled it between his fingers.

"I've always loved your hair."

"I don't know why, it's just a plain brown.", Sarah managed a laugh through her nervousness.

"Nothin' plain about it.", Jack whispered in her ear and then bent down to kiss her. At first he was gentle, but then he forced his tongue into her mouth aggressively. Sarah's tongue coyly joined in the dance , allowing Jack to take the lead. She didn't want him to think that she couldn't control her passions. She was taught that a wife must temper her husband's ardent nature. He broke the kiss and pulled her into a tight embrace. Jack looked into her eyes to gain a sense of what she was feeling. So much between them had always been left unspoken.

"Are you happy?", Jack asked her.

Sarah just nodded, steeling herself for what was to come.

Jack kissed her again, a bit more roughly this time and guided her down to the bed. Jack's hand felt her upper curves through her blouse, kneading her softness. Sarah enjoyed the feeling and didn't stop him when he started unbuttoning her blouse. Then, he slid his hands under her skirts and she shivered because his hands were cold and she told him as much.

"Well, you're going to warm me up.", he laughed and pushed her back slowly, so that her head was on the pillow.

Sarah wasn't stupid. She had seen anatomy books and had helped take care of her little brother Les when he was a baby. She knew how boys were different than girls and she knew how things matched up, even if proper ladies weren't supposed to.

When they became one, Sarah flinched instinctively and tightened her lower body, which made it harder for Jack to maneuver.

"Sarah…you got to relax."

_Jack will know what to do, _were the vague and veiled words that her mother had left her with the day before the wedding.

"I'm trying.", she said as tears started to well at the corners of her eyes.

"Just stop fighting it.", Jack commanded, wishing that she would be quiet long enough for him to settle into a rhythm. He was so nervous about everything that even her sweet voice was a distraction.

"Stop. It hurts.", Sarah cried.

"It will feel better in a minute…trust me...I won't hurt you.", Jack tried to reassure her.

"No, I mean it…stop!", Sarah pushed her husband away with both hands.

Jack pulled out and there was a small amount of blood on the sheets. He knew that this was normal and she did too. He looked to Sarah who had a pained expression on her face. He could see that she was shaking. Jack took his right hand and placed it lovingly on her bare shoulder.

"Sarah, are you okay?",

"Yes", she said meekly.

"Are you sure?"

Sarah slowly shook her head up and down and then said, "It's just nothing like I imagined".

"What did you think it was going to be?", Jack said with a raised eyebrow. He was surprised to think of his Sarah having private thoughts of that nature.

"I never thought it would hurt so much.", she said as a tear slid down her cheek., "Those books that David had made it sound different..."

Jack knew what books she was referring to and had a difficult time imaging his wife reading them, even for educational purposes.

"You ain't supposed to be reading those.", he said with a humph.

"David's not supposed to be reading them either, but he does! How else am I supposed to find out what happens between men and women? Mama would never discuss it with me."

"Those books just fill your head with nonsense.", Jack warned her

Sarah pulled the covers over her chest and looked at the wall.

Jack still wanted her but not like this…not if she was afraid. "Don't worry love…girls I've talked to, say that it gets easier after a while.", he said as he stroked her cheek.

This piqued Sarah's interest and she sat up in bed. Jack realized that he had opened a can of worms and his cheeks flushed.

"What girls?", Sarah said inquisitively.

"No one in particular.", Jack replied tersely

Sarah searched his face for the truth. She was afraid to ask him directly, but she was burning with curiosity.

"Have there been other girls?", she asked weakly.

"What are you talking about?", he tried to deflect the question.

"Have _you _done_ this_ with other women?", Sarah demanded.

A/N: The second and final chapter is already written...but I like cliffhangers. I apologize if you don't like this. I'm generally not good at writing "bedroom stories", but I was curious to explore what Jack and Sarah's wedding night might be like given their different backgrounds/backstories and the prudish times they lived in. I tried to keep the language as tame as possible, although I'm sure its not to everyone's taste. :-/


	2. Chapter 2

Only ten minutes prior, Jack had seen himself as a master of ceremonies who had the power to effortlessly initiate his audience of one into the world of corporeal pleasure. He envisioned her accepting his enjoyment as well as sharing in it. The nature of Sarah's plea now left Jack feeling embarrassed.

"Don't ask me about it.", Jack said quietly. He looked down at his fingernails, trying to focus on something other than the tension between them. Jack's silence told Sarah what she wanted to know.

"You have, haven't you?", Sarah's face clouded over. Jack was never good at lying, especially not to her. Jack knew that he couldn't stall any longer.

"It's different for guys….we gots to know what to do or…or…, Jack exploded, but he couldn't find the words he was looking for. This was a delicate subject and he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Or what?', Sarah replied pointedly.

"Sarah...men have the power, you understand? I guess...it's like if you was gonna build a table...and no one showed you how to use a hammer...you could end up hurting someone...". Words failed him again. Jack wasn't sure if he was making matters better or worse. _And I'm just the nail, waiting to be hammered in.,_ Sarah thought to herself.

"Did it happen while we were courting?", she asked him. Jack looked away from her, not wanting to answer this new question.

"Answer me Jack?.", Sarah countered his silence with persistence. She spoke forcefully, but there were tears in the corners of her eyes. Sarah had never taken this tone with him.

"You shouldn't be asking these questions", Jack told her.

"I need to know."

"Aw…no you don't and it won't change anything.", Jack's voice rose sharply.

"Please.", Sarah said softly. A tear fell from her cheek onto his right hand and her forehead was twisted in pained curiosity. The brightness and beauty that he associated with Sarah had momentarily vanished. It hurt him to think that he had caused this change. Jack couldn't lie to her, he just couldn't.

"Alright, yea…once", Jack said gravely.

"Tell me.", was all that she said. There was no inflection, no emotion, nothing.

"Well…the first time…I was just a kid…it was before I met you…I didn't know what I was doing, it scared me more than anything….and the second time, well... we was gonna get married and I got worried that I'd do something wrong …so I…so I…". Jack's right index finger slowly drew a figure 8 as a means of illustrating what he could not say. Sarah understood what the gesture signified, and somehow her anger subsided, perhaps because Jack's embarrassment was so evident.

"Did you hurt the other girls?', Sarah asked earnestly with curiosity.

Jack hated that she was using the word 'hurt' as if it has been an intentional act against her. He just shrugged his shoulders and looked away from her.

"Naw…they were pros…"

"Pros?", Sarah wasn't sure she followed him.

"Yea.", Jack replied curtly.

Sarah now understood what this meant and she felt as if she were seeing Jack in a whole new light. Some of her hurt feelings returned.

"For 20 years I waited for marriage…only to find out you've been with someone before.". Sarah was downcast.

"I don't know...that's just the way it is. Men are supposed to know what to do and they got to find a way to…to…well, they got to find a way.", Jack concluded unsatisfactorily.

Jack knew that he had hurt her more with his admission than with the act that had preceded it. When he was with Josie, he had felt guilty, so then he pretended that he was with Sarah, but then he felt even more guilty for thinking of Sarah in that way. Jack didn't know how to make things right, but he needed her to know that he loved her. He took Sarah's hands in his and kissed them.

"Listen Sarah….this ain't how I wanted to spend the night. I love you…more than I have the words ta say. I understand if you ain't ready to be with me that way. We've got time. He turned away from her and started to button his trousers.

"I want to finish what we started.", Sarah suddenly demanded. Jack looked at her with surprise, but he didn't trust her motives.

"I'm not in the mood now ". Jack meant it for his ego has been bruised and he didn't think he could take it if she rejected him again. He bent down to pick up his shirt and was about to put it on when Sarah pulled him back to the bed

"Well _I_ am in the mood", she said boldly.

Jack looked her in the eyes in order to read her feelings and he thought he saw flecks of green nestled in her brow irises

"Sarah, are you jealous?", he said with amusement.

"No, but I'm your wife and if you're going to be with anyone in that way it should be _me._ "

"You_ are_ jealous.", he said with a smirk and leaned in to kiss her on the neck and then trailed kisses up her neck until the last one was on her lips. When he pulled away she had a curious look in her eye

"Would you love me any less?", she asked.

"What?", Jack didn't understand her at first.

"If I had been with another man, would you love me any less?", Sarah said boldly.

Jack didn't like the question, in fact he hated it. The thought of another man touching her made him angry, but he didn't want to show it.

_I don't know if I could love you at all, _ is what he wanted to say, instead he simply said "I don't know." Jack didn't want Sarah to see how bothered he was by her question. He didn't know why the double standard existed, but it most certainly _did_ exist.

"It wouldn't be as exciting I guess… it's like a nice piece of chocolate cake that somebody already took a bite out of...". Jack knew that he sounded foolish and that he wasn't communicating his real feelings, but he couldn't come up with anything better.

"Don't you think that's how I feel?", Sarah asked him.

"I never knew you thought about that stuff.", Jack said honestly.

"I have...I think many women do...we're just told that we shouldn't.", Sarah revealed. Jack considered her words briefly.

"I dunno...as long as it was me you were thinking of...I don't care if you think about that stuff."

"Jack, who else would I be thinking of?", Sarah laughed and threw a pillow at her husband. This made him smile.

"I don't know…maybe your pinin' away after Snipeshooter.", he said with an evil grin. He was trying to get a rise out of her. The idea of Sarah liking the gangly curly haired Newsie was ludicrous. Sarah didn't give in to his jibes. Instead, she pulled Jack into a passionate kiss whose intensity he was not prepared for. She then whispered in his left ear.

"It's_ always_ been you."


End file.
